Mikey's Madness

Your Daily Dose of Drama from a

Horseshoeing Housewife

Monday December 31st, 2007

Last Post of the Year!

We had to load up some dogs

to deliver them to Grandma

so we could go tag team trim

the worst donkeys ever

You can’t imagine how hard it is

to find a babysitter who can handle

a 3 yr old and 7 dogs

Grandma rocks

But to load this crew

is something else

How I wish I had video

All you’d probably get is

me laughing

I did manage to

pull myself together

and snap a few

precious moments

Some dogs are good at this

some are not

High school wrestling experience helps

Laying down

does not help

no comment needed

giggle snort lol

Lift with your knees honey

He finally says “To heck with it”

something like that

and lets her get in the front

she can jump in there on her own

Hitchhikers wouldn’t get in this truck

I’m still laughing at Wade

You can handle a 1200 lb horse

but not a 100 lb dog?

His response?

I get that a lot

from everybody

Happy New Year!

Comments?

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Sunday December 30th, 2007

Tough Enough to Wear Pink

This is how we roll

They got hamburgers

much to Wade’s disgust

Comments?

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Friday December 28th, 2007

Where not to be on New Year’s Eve

I’m better now

I have gas

That doesn’t sound right

natural gas

That doesn’t sound right either

I give up

I’m happy and warm

Since I’m so perky

I shall share with y’all

what not to do on New Year’s Eve

or rather

where not to be

Here

with a baby

Yes that’s me

Why am I there?

Because I am a moron

As such, I document it

whenever possible

This was 3 yrs ago

Mercy was just 7 months old

I had gone back to work

shoeing horses

I went to Bagdad AZ

to shoe

I was still figuring out how this works

with a child

The one smart thing I did

I took my BFF Toe

no, that’s not her real name

She’s ranch raised with

4 siblings

qualified to watch my child

So I did my horses

and on our way back

we wanted to swing by her sister’s ranch

so I took a shortcut

A really pretty shortcut

However, I had never taken this shortcut

in the winter

I was so distracted by the beauty

I drove right into this

Cause I’m that good

Yes, it was a running wash

a significantly big one

What you see here is only one part

This thing ran waaaayyy down the road

The road being 40 miles from my house

15 from her sister’s

and it was getting dark

We called her sister’s husband

who drives a truck just like mine

but four wheel drive

Even so, he couldn’t get to us

because I wasn’t the only moron out there

several men were stuck too, farther ahead of us

Various folks came by

No one who could pull this out

and here’s the really nice part

My pipes are underwater

Why, some of you might ask

is that bad?

It’s bad because if your engine dies

or you run out of gas and the engine dies

and it sucks up water

Kiss it bye bye

be scrappin the whole truck

There’s a whole crazy story

as to how I know this

It involves a dog, a river and

20 convicts w/armed guards

We’ll save that for later

Needless to say

this ain’t my first rodeo

Sooooo

We’re stuck

It’s getting dark

I call everyone

The tow truck company says

“Yes, we know where you are.

No, we will NOT send our truck out there”

“Yes, we know you have a baby in the truck”

“The answer is still no”

What we say to that

“Look what your mama got us into

You know, you better get used to this”

exact words

So I frantically call my neighbor

who owns a beast of a truck

and so does his brother

They drop everything

head out

haul out the guys stuck ahead of us

and ride to our rescue

I have no pictures of this

because I was wading knee deep

with the baby

It took 2 trucks chained together

to pull us out

after they literally waded in

and lifted my truck

out of the hole I made trying to get out

So I repeat

DON’T DO THIS

I made a solemn promise

to my neighbors

NEVER AGAIN

So far it’s held

Dang good neighbors, eh?

Comments?

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Thursday December 27th, 2007

Hell

Christmas was as merry as can be

While you’re puking

Yep

We are and have been sick

We delivered presents on Xmas Eve

Puking all the way in the truck

So nice

We spent Xmas morning taking turns

in the bathroom

To top things off

I’m missing a dog

Noodle

Despite flyers, calls, driving around

He’s gone

I’m pretty sure coyotes got him

I have no more energy to look

Let me add one more fun thing

Yesterday the water quit at 2 pm

which means the booster pump quit

just like last year

when it froze and cracked EVERYONE’S pumps

Luckily I have the best pump company ever

Wickenburg Pump

who came right out

3 times in 12 hrs

and got it fixed

God Bless you Walt and Anita

I could kiss your feet right now

Meanwhile

I was nearly out of natural gas

which heats our home

last week I called them

They promised to come on Xmas Eve

which I thought was wonderful

except

THEY DIDN’T COME

I figured this out last night

when I finally pried myself away from the toilet

to go check the gauge

and it was empty

So far

it’s like the car

it says E but we’ve still got 30 miles

So at 11pm last night I call Ferrellgas HQ

and they promise to get right on it and call me in the morning

Meanwhile, they recommend I turn my tank off and have no heat

with a houseful of sick people

but the option is to breathe toxic fumes

like I can smell anything

9:30 this morning

no call

I call them

They have no record of me on schedule

Do I remember who I talked to??

oh please

Now I’m about out of patience

The lady tells me she wishes I’d called yesterday

because now they can’t get a truck out till tomorrow morning

Oh, look!

there goes patience

out the window

I tell her

without yelling

that my well pump is out

I’ve been puking for 4 days now

and if there isn’t a truck here TODAY

I will be puking in HER office

and I’m not kidding

She tells me it will cost me $100 extra

and her driver has 25 stops today

I tell her

I don’t care

Get a truck here today

and I’ll talk to your headquarters about the $100

Now I’m waiting patiently

and if that truck doesn’t come by 4 pm

I’ll be spending the night at their office

puking in their toilet

I am SO not kidding

Meanwhile Wade went to leave

escape, run for your life!

only to find his truck won’t start

which sent me into fits of giggles

in my present state that turns into

sh*ts and giggles

If anything else wants to go wrong

I’ll be in the bathroom

Comments?

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Monday December 24th, 2007

Happy Christmas Eve!

I spied this early this morning

Someone couldn’t wait to open a present

The culprit?

Mesquite!!!

One of us left a present in the bed

of the truck overnight

He can’t help himself

He was also waiting

in his usual spot

this morning

Comments?

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Sunday December 23rd, 2007

The Day Wade and I Met

Wouldn’t you know

I have pictures of this day?

In the spirit of

The Pioneer Woman

who was on CNN yesterday

and if you don’t read

you should

and her cowboy love story

I thought I’d be a copycat,

get all sappy

and tell you ours

We met on roundup

a few miles from my house

I had heard much gossip

bout this “Wade” character

“Buddy’s brother”

mostly good

helluva roper, real nice guy, hard worker

some bad

drinks a lot, parties

but lots and lots of talk

small towns, what can I say?

So I was real curious

Here’s what I rode up to

my first impression

Not much sexier in the morning

than a cowboy putting on chaps, eh?

We rode out as a bunch

My horse was a little nutso young

so I held him back and we worked it out

Everyone spread out and I rode solo

working this one wash

crisscrossing occasionally with other riders

After a bit

I got into it with a black calf

Every single roundup, for me,

there is always a renegade black calf

ALWAYS

Anyway, it was a year of heavy spring rains

and a LOT of brush

and a LOT of SNAKES

This is Casey killing a big ol’ rattler

I held the horses and admired the chaps

Now you all know, I wouldn’t have killed it

BUT ranchers don’t appreciate them biting their cows

and it’s not my place to say what you do on your own ranch

Anyway

As I was saying

I’m chasing this black calf thru

the brush

and here comes Wade

riding by to help someone else

who had a bunch at a nearby tank (water hole)

I explain to him what I’m doing

I’ve found and lost this dang calf 3 times now and I’m pissed

He’s small enough to slip under things my horse can’t,

dark enough to hide in the shadows,

and when I do find him, he bolts like a deer

I needed another person on the other side of the wash

Wade said he’d be right back

Yeah right

He never came back

I was pretty miffed

Worse

I never did get that calf

But it didn’t stop me from taking pictures

and wondering about this cowboy

who wasn’t the slightest bit interested in me

Hmmmmmm

Oh yeah

You got my attention

Later

It was stuff like this

That got my heart

Ok I gotta stop

This is waaayyy too mushy

Comments?

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Saturday December 22nd, 2007

Surprise!

At 7:30 this morning

we had visitors

all the way from Texas!

This is Mercy’s half brother

Frankie

How about that?

We had a nice visit

On that note

Let’s talk about the

Cowgirl Creed

This is from the book

Cowgirl Smarts – How to Rope a Kick Ass Life

By Ellen Reid Smith

(Ellen, if you read this, I hope you don’t mind me sharing)

Live and die by

these rules

ladies

The Cowgirl Creed

Dare to be a cowgirl

Buck the rules

Stay balanced in the saddle

Ride the trail of adventure

Dream as big as Texas

Be tough, but be feminine

Attack life like it’s a 1,000 lb. steer

Saddle your own horse (I might add shoe your own horse)

Rein in your fears

Dress for success – the cowgirl way

Ride high in the saddle

Ride high, but stay grounded

Give others a leg up

Always get back on the horse

Ride beside your man

Recharge your cowgirl spirit

Die with your boots on

Got it?

Good

Your mission

should you choose to accept it

is to